


Ride

by benkno



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Genre: Gay, Implied Sexual Content, Intimacy, Love, M/M, Road Trips, hopefully really cute, they're 16 here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-10 05:14:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4378637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benkno/pseuds/benkno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tired of the hectic Adams-Foster Household, and wishing for more uninterrupted time with Jude, Connor plans what he hopes will be an unforgettable summer of adventure - a road trip across California.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know there isn’t any Jonnor in this chapter (booo i know) but there is in the next chapterI promise. I just really wanted to do an Adam-and-Connor father-and-son bit bc i thought it might be cute. Jonnor is up next xx

Adam Stevens had come a long way. He often looked back over his son’s relationship with Jude Adams Foster and, filled with regret, remembered that he had been less than welcoming to the sweet young man who very quickly captured his son’s heart. Essentially, he had been horrible, judgemental, and, despite denying it at the time, extremely homophobic.

_“I don’t care that your son’s gay. I just don’t want mine to be”_

He remembers saying it. He can never forget. He realised at the time, it was a horrible thing to say, and to feel. It torments him every day that his attitude, and his stubbornness, had pushed Connor away. Lena was right: In the end, it was him who was locked out.

And so Adam Stevens decided to change. For the sake of his son, and for the sake of himself, he needed to become okay with ~~Connor’s lifestyle~~ who and what Connor was.

Connor was gay. And in admitting that, Adam Stevens had come a long way.

Stef and Lena had been so good to him, in spite of everything. He spoke to them, and their parents, and worked to become okay with Connor’s sexuality. He remembered what Stef said, _“Connor had to come to terms with his sexuality, and it was difficult for him. I remember, because it was difficult for me too. In the same way, you too have to come to terms with his sexuality. It’s difficult for you as well. And that’s okay, as long as, in the end, you can proudly say that you love Connor, and will stand by him, no matter what”_.

That had changed everything for him.

Connor came out to him over two years ago, and over those two years, he watched his son’s happiness blossom. The divorce hadn’t been easy on him, and Adam realised that it was Jude, and not himself, that had helped Connor through it all. But over these two years, Adam had come a long way, and on Connor’s 16th birthday, he wanted to show that to Connor. 

He wanted to prove to Connor that he loved him, and would stand by him, no matter what.

He just had to hope that Connor would accept this.They’d grown distant, Adam had thought, until he realised that Connor had feared more than loved him for his whole childhood.

When Connor came home that day, his sixteenth birthday, he could barely began to realise how significantly his relationship with his father would change, thanks simply to the car parked on his drive.

“Hey Con, happy birthday!”, shouted Adam, over the sound of the knackered engine that was struggling to burst into life.

Connor took it all in. It was rusty, and dusty, and dirty, and barely alive. But it was his car, apparently.

And it was a Mustang.

“1966 Mustang Coupé” his dad told him. “A _pony car_. I figured you’d appreciate that.”

Connor’s face froze. There was an awkward silence, of about a minute, before his dad smiled, and burst out laughing.

His dad had made a gay joke. Which meant his dad accepted him, in his own special way. Connor smiled, and joined his dad in laughing. It was progress.

“I figured I could fix it up for you, however you want it…” his dad continued, with that gentle smile fixed to his face.

Connor interrupted “No, thanks…”. His father’s smile slipped.

“Let’s fix it together”

* * *

 

Over the 8 or so months of hard graft over Connor’s Mustang, the father and son team had inevitably grown closer; In fact, they were closer now than they had ever been. Connor saw that his Dad had changed, and did indeed love him. And in turn, Adam learned that Connor hadn’t changed at all. Yes, he was gay, but that didn't mean he wasn't the same Car-loving, sports-mad boy he had always been.

Their first outing in Connor’s Mustang was to the batting cages, so that Connor could practice his batting for baseball. They’d done this together for many years, but recently the routine had changed. Gone were Adam’s judgemental remarks over “timing” and “accuracy”, replaced with more supportive and more frequent praise, though not without tips: _“Try this”_ , Adam would say, _“and you'll be the best player on the field”_.

On the way, Connor saw the reflection of his Mustang in a store-front window, and recalled picking the car’s colour. 

* * *

_“Hey Con, have you picked a colour yet? We’re ready for the paintshop”, Adam asked him, running his hands over the Mustang’s bonnet._

_“I have no idea dad, I can’t decide” Connor replied, a look of desperation washing over his face._

_Adam thought to himself, trying to picture the finished Mustang. Black? White? He shook his head. Racing Red? It fit the car, but it didn't suit Connor - he just couldn’t see his son in it._

_Then it hit him._

_“Connor,” he said loudly. “How about blue?”_

_* * *_

Connor admired the blue Mustang that he saw - it hadn’t yet fully sunk in that this was his Mustang.

“I love the paintwork” Adam told him.

“Yeah, blue was a great choice. Thanks Dad,” replied Connor, through a half-smile.

Adam smiled similarly in response. “Jude is gonna love it. Speaking of which, I have a great idea for you for this summer…”


	2. Chapter 2

Connor texted Jude the next day, **“I have a surprise for you x”** , before eagerly setting off in his Mustang to Jude’s house. Jude had never seen Connor’s car, and nor did he know of its existence, and so Connor was super-excited to show Jude his sweet ride. He was also excited about his dad’s summer plan: He was clearly making an effort to show Connor that he loved him, and that he trusted him, because Connor thought it was the coolest thing ever.

Jude texted Connor back **“What do u mean? What kind of surprise? X”** to no reply. He texted again. And again. “What are you up to Connor?” he thought to himself, before Mariana barged into his room.

“Judicorn! Connor’s here” she told him, winking in a suggestive way that Jude found uncomfortable. Sometimes, Mariana seemed more into his relationship than her own.

“It looks like he has a surprise for you,” she said, clearly impressed by Connor’s car. “You should go outside.”

Jude raced downstairs, in what he believed the calmest manner possible, aiming to suggest that he was excited but not desperate to see Connor. His family saw through it.

“Jude, calm down, Connor’s coming,” said Lena, with a smile as clear as day dominating her face.

“Yeah Jude, play it cool, you don’t want to seem needy” added Brandon.

Jude rolled his eyes, but looked away so that his family didn’t see the grin on his face. He opened the front door and stepped outside, watching as his boyfriend emerged from…

_**Wow.** _

“Wow” said Stef, who had appeared from nowhere to join Jude on the porch. “Nice car Connor!”

“Thanks Mrs Adams Foster,” Connor replied, before looking to Jude and asking “Do you like it?”

Jude had always thought Connor attractive. But the car. He looked so hot leaning on the blue Mustang. Jude forgot how to speak, until his mom gently nudged him.

“Um, yeah, it’s, err, pretty sweet,” he replied awkwardly.

“Connor, why don’t you come inside?” Stef suggested. “And for the thousandth time, love, call me Stef!”

Connor merely nodded, walking up to the door before pausing, turning to Jude, and hugging him tightly.

“I’ve missed you,” Connor said softly, his lips by Jude’s ear.

Jude’s shoulders collapsed, as if contact with Connor were enough to melt him. _Well, Connor is pretty hot_ , he thought to himself. “It’s been a less than a day,” Jude chuckled. Connor could be very needy sometimes.

Minutes passed like seconds in Connor’s arms. “Come on Jude, Breakfast is ready! Connor, are you hungry? We have Pancakes” Lena shouted to them from the Kitchen. As she walked to the porch, she saw the two embracing, and couldn’t help but smile. Connor kissed Jude’s cheek as he let go, but their hands remained firmly entwined as they moved to the kitchen. Connor couldn’t help but think that pancakes and cuddles made the perfect morning.

“Thank you so much Mrs…” Connor began, before being interrupted by Lena, who chuckled and told him “At this point Connor, after three years, Lena is fine”.

“Connor, are you staying the night tonight? Before you two…” Stef asked.

Connor had to interrupt, to stop Stef revealing his summer plan with Jude. “Yeah, if that’s okay with you?”

“Of course love! But remember - Separate Beds please!!”

How could Connor forget? He hated the rule; He understood, of course, and he could hardly accuse the rule, or Stef and Lena, of being unfair. But sleeping with Jude in his arms was by far his favourite experience, the time when he was happiest. It was warm, it was cozy, it felt so right - he and Jude were jigsaw pieces, made to fit together, with nothing else. _A two piece Jigsaw,_ Connor thought to himself. _That must be the easiest jigsaw in the world. Then why did it take me so long to put the pieces together?_

“… Earth to Connor. Come in Connor. Are you there?” Jude said, his hand waving frantically before Connor’s eyes. Connor was completely spaced out, thinking about Lego pieces.

“… Like those two pieces that get stuck together and can’t be pulled apart” Connor mumbled, his mouth slightly open, lips soft and slightly wet. Jude wanted to kiss him, and was moving closer to his face until he saw that Connor was dribbling. Jude pulled back, and giggled.

“What are you on about?” Jude asked, before pulling Connor away from the kitchen table. “C’mon Connor, we’re going to play upstairs. Thanks Moms!”

Jude and Connor left the table, when Stef whispered to Lena “What do you think he means by ‘play’ ?”

Lena chuckled. “I do not want to know” she replied quietly, though not quietly enough.

“Ughhh video games moms!!” Jude shouted from upstairs.

“Fair enough, but the door remains open” Stef shouted in response.

Jude pushed the door ajar. _Practically closed_ , he thought, _but i’m not breaking any rules_. The two then sat on the bed and played Mario Kart. Neither was above dirty tactics: as soon as the other was ahead, they would gently and playfully shove them to put them off. Jude proved better at playing dirty than Connor, winning all but one race, to the annoyance of Connor.

“It doesn't count if you shove me” Connor said, trying to seem angry, but failing to do so convincingly when looking into Jude’s eyes.

“You shoved me too,” Jude replied. “I guess now we know who's stronger”.

“We’ll see about that” laughed Connor, rising from the bed and chasing Jude down the stairs and out to the garden. “I am so gonna get you for that!”

Jude wasn't strong enough, or quick enough, and Connor pinned him to the grass. Jude sometimes forgot how strong Connor was. Now, pressed to grass by Connor’s impressive arms, was not one of those times.

“Okay, okay, you win, I give up” Jude said, struggling to catch his breath from the combination of struggling to escape Connor and laughing. Jude thought back, three years ago, remembering a remarkably similar moment. Then, too, Connor had been stronger, and pinned him to the ground in the same spot. But this time, there was no Daria, no text message, no stopping them from being together. They **_were_** together. They **_are_** together. They will **_always_** be together, he thought.

Connor moved towards Jude, gently pressing his lips on Jude’s. They kissed, innocently at first, but Connor couldn’t bear to break away. They only stopped when the sun had seemingly disappeared behind the clouds.

“Ahem” they heard, realising that, while there was not a cloud in the perfect blue sky, there was an overprotective Callie looming over them. “Do you want to come inside?” Judging from her tone, it wasn't a question.

“We’re coming now,” Jude replied, gently nudging Connor to roll off of him. Connor pleaded with him with his puppy eyes, and Jude notice he was doing ‘the jaw thing’ - he couldn't describe it, but Connor knew what it did to Jude, and used it often, to great effect.

“Connor, we have all summer. We can do whatever. We’re free.” Jude told his adorable boyfriend.

Connor smiled to himself. Jude didn't know the half of it.

* * *

During dinner, Connor and Jude sat as if attached. Connor’s foot was stroking Jude’s under the table, while Jude’s hand playfully stroked Jude’s arm. Their affectionate contact did not go unnoticed.

“Do you two ever sit apart?” Callie asked, with a stern expression covering her face.

“Yeah, and do you realise that you’re constantly touching each other. You need to get a room,” Brandon added, though unlike Callie he was chuckling as he watched them.

“Awwww I think it’s cute” Mariana responded in defence of the couple. “Don’t listen to them Judicorn. Shall I paint your nails after dinner?”

Jude smiled, but looked to Connor for permission. Connor seemed okay with it too. They excused themselves from the table, and followed Mariana upstairs. They all sat on Mariana’s bed, and searched through her extensive collection of nail polish. In the end, both settled on blue. It was, after all, their colour.

“Blue for Jonnor” Mariana said excitingly, screaming internally. “Let’s get started then.”

“Mariana…” Connor said timidly. She stopped, worried that she had intimidated her younger brother’s boyfriend. Jude glared at Mariana, worrying the same thing.

“What is it?” she eventually replied.

“I dunno,” Connor said, swallowing nervously afterwards. “It’s just, I’m a bit worried, that, uhh … do Callie and Brandon like me?”

Mariana breathed a sigh of relief, although she could see that this was clearly stressing Connor. Jude gently rubbed Connor’s arm.

“Of course they do,” she said. “We all love you, Connor. You’re a part of this family, as much as any of the rest of us. You and Jude, you’re a package deal.”

* * *

“Lego pieces” Connor said, later that night, when he and Jude were in bed.

“What?” Jude asked. Connor could be quite bizarre sometimes.

“That’s what I was mumbling about earlier. Lego pieces. When you get those two pieces that are stuck together, and you can’t get them apart.”

“So…?” Jude was clearly still confused.

“That’s us” Connor smiled, blushing. “People can try as hard as they like, but we are just two Lego pieces. They can’t pull us apart.”

With that, Jude blushed too. Connor crept over into Jude’s bed, and the two cuddled, before drifting into a peaceful and undisturbed sleep.

Yes, they were meant to sleep apart. But they were two lego pieces.

Two lego pieces that nobody could pull apart.


	3. Chapter 3

It was around 8 o’clock when Stef and Lena woke up, and, as always, they got out of bed together, eager to spend as much time as possible with each other. Stef smiled at Lena as she got changed, while Lena walked out of the room. She had planned to go downstairs to enjoy the peace and quiet while it lasted. Before she could, however, she was confronted by a potentially troubling situation.

Jude’s bedroom door was wide open, clearly displaying Jude and Connor cuddling tightly underneath the duvet.

Lena didn't mind them cuddling, or sharing a bed, although Stef may have something to say about it. The problem was that, the more Lena thought about it, the clearer it was to her that they were no longer 13, and were no longer quite as innocent.

To put it simply, Jude and Connor cuddling, and sharing a bed, no longer meant _**just**_ cuddling and sharing a bed.

Stef walked up behind her, and wrapped her arms around her waist, quietly humming. _She seems calm_ , Lena thought. _She obviously hasn't noticed yet_.

“Whats wrong, love?” Stef asked, looking at Lena with wide eyes, before looking back to Jude’s room. Then her eyes widened. _Oh_.

Lena noticed that Stef’s breathing had changed. She was no longer quite so calm. “I’m sure its nothing,” she said, in a feeble attempt to placate Stef. “Maybe they just fell asleep like that.”

“Oh Lena, you know they aren't 13 anymore. We know about 16 year old boys. Remember Brandon? And don’t even get me started on Jesus…”

“You know Jude isn’t like that. He’s never been like that” Lena said, though rather half-heartedly. It was a poor defence, and she knew it.

“Why, Lena? Because he’s different? Because he’s sensitive? Or just because he’s gay? We know that all teenagers think about it.”

“That isn’t what I meant. But even so, we never had a problem with the others doing anything. Brandon and Jesus were definitely active at that age. Mariana probably was too. We never cared.”

“We don’t care as long as they stay safe.”

“And how do you know Jude isn’t staying safe. He isn’t clueless.”

Stef paused. That was true. She didn’t know why she cared so much. But the thought of Jude, her youngest, her baby, having sex… it scared her. And it made her feel old.

“He may know everything he needs to know,” Stef replied, visibly calmer. “But we don’t know how much Connor knows”.

Lena said nothing. Stef raised a fair point; Although Adam was much more comfortable with her son, she didn't think it likely that he discussed any sex education with Connor, never mind **_appropriate_** sex education.

“Im sure they didn’t do anything” Lena eventually replied. “They still have their pyjamas on. And I cant see any… anything they may have used.”

“Doesn’t that worry you? What if they didn't use any…”

“Hey moms!” said Mariana, who was standing behind them. Stef and Lena were both startled, and worried how much of their conversation Mariana had overheard.

“Good morning Mariana” Lena replied. “We weren’t expecting you to be up this early.”

“Well it’s a beautiful morning. What are you doing outside Jude’s room?” Mariana asked, before peeping her head into the room. She then saw what her moms were looking at. “Aww they are so cute! Don’t you think?”

Mariana smirked, and Stef continued to worry over whether Mariana had been eavesdropping.

“Yes they’re adorable,” Lena said. “ Could you go downstairs and set the table please?”

“Who’s adorable?” Brandon interrupted, half-asleep.

“Jude and Connor” chirped Mariana. She, unlike Brandon, was wide awake and cheery, much to the annoyance of her brother. “They’re cuddling in Jude’s bed. It’s so cute”

“Are you serious?” Brandon retorted. He was more awake now, but clearly wasn’t happy with the situation. “They aren't 13, Mariana. What happens if they… y’know… Moms you cannot be okay with this.”

“Eww, Brandon. They didn’t. Not everyone’s like you.”

“He’s a boy, Mariana, I think I understand him better than you.”

“Oh please, Judicorn is so not like you.”

“Well what about Connor? Do you know him that well too?”

“You’d be surprised,” Mariana smirked, before turning away and walking downstairs. _What was that supposed to mean?_

“Brandon, this isn’t any of your concern” Lena said quietly.

“But we did not condone this,” Stef was quick to interject.

Lena glared back. “We didn’t know about this until this morning. But I assure you, theres no special treatment here.”

With that, the family all moved downstairs to start breakfast. Lena couldn’t help but think to herself, _If that’s how Brandon reacted, it’s a good job Callie’s at work_.

* * *

Connor and Jude eventually woke up - about an hour after Jude’s family’s heated discussion on their sleeping arrangements - and joined them downstairs in the Kitchen. The mood at breakfast was ever so slightly awkward, despite Stef and Lena’s attempts to defuse any tension. Connor was clueless to this, however, eating his pancakes in peace - ignorance, after all, was bliss. Jude, however, noticed that the tension in the room could be cut with a knife. Jude chose to wait until the others had left to confront his parents about the unusual mood plaguing the house.

“Moms why is it so awkward this morning?” Jude blurted out, eager to get to the point.

He was met with an uncomfortable pause, before Lena said “Why would you think that Jude? Everything’s fine. Why don’t you go outside and play with Connor?” Jude was unsatisfied with that answer - he knew his family, and knew when something was wrong. But he also knew when they wouldn’t tell him something, and he just had to live with it. He nodded, with a smile plastered on his face that both he and his moms knew was insincere, before leaving the room.

“You’re suggesting alone time. Really Lena?” Stef asked her quietly, wary over whether anyone was eavesdropping.

“I don’t want to tell him why it’s so awkward,” Lena replied instantly. “That wouldn’t help anything. Besides, you’re going to have to get used to them being alone. They’ll be alone this summer.”

“And is that the best idea, given…” Stef was lost for words. She couldn’t quite explain her objections. She couldn’t even figure them out for herself. But then, she didn't really have to - she could dodge her objections completely, and blame someone else. “Do you think Adam would still be okay with this, if he knew that they were…”

“You don't think Adam knows?”

“You think Connor would’ve told him?”

“Connor doesn't have to. Jude hasn't told us. But we still know… or presume at least.”

Stef was going to respond, but she saw Jude and Connor running in from outside. She panicked, to the extent that she disregarded even her thoughts on the matter, paranoid that someone may read them.

“Shall we go upstairs?” Jude asked Connor. “Mariana says we can play a game?”

“I’ll join you in a sec,” Connor replied nervously. Jude merely nodded in response, and ran upstairs. Connor waited until he saw Jude disappear from view, before turning to Stef and Lena. As he did so, they were both hit with a wave of fear. _Oh God_ , Stef thought as she looked at Lena. _What do you think he wants?_

“Ummmm… Stef, Lena? Can I, erm, talk… to you? About something?"

* * *

Connor, Stef and Lena sat in the living room - Connor on an armchair, facing Stef and Lena on the sofa. It was hard to tell who was more nervous.

“What did you want to talk about, love?” Stef asked, in her usual soothing tone. Lena noted that this was the calmest she’d sounded all day.

“Well, Jude thinks everyone’s been acting a bit weird today. Is it something I did?” Connor asked. Jaw quivering, with puppy dog eyes, he was in that moment a picture of innocence, far from the hormone-driven sex-crazed teenage boy he had been demonised as this morning. Stef couldn’t help but think they had judged him rather unfairly. It was Connor after all - a boy they'd known for years, who know seemed part of the family, an extension of Jude. He had done stupid things - she couldn't help but think of the gunshot incident - but she had since learned that he'd done those things out of love for her son. Connor loved Jude dearly. He and Jude were a package deal. He was an extension of Jude. He deserved to be thought of better than this.

“Of course not. It’s nothing really. I can’t even explain,” Stef began, in one of those rare occasions that she let any weakness show.

“Are Jude and I still okay for this summer?” Connor asked hopefully.

“Of course,” Lena replied, taking over from her wife, who seemed oddly fragile, and incapable of continuing. Lena didn't understand why, but Stef knew that she was suddenly overcome with guilt that she hadn't trusted Connor, or her son for that matter. “But I think we need to discuss something first.” Lena needed to discuss it, to be clear that they were both safe. Stef, on the other hand, froze immediately, in two minds over whether to be mortified or relieved to have this conversation.

“About what?” Connor asked. He was visibly deflated, believing his summer plans were scuppered.

“It’s about… the, erm… Birds. And Bees.” Good start, Lena thought to herself. _Isn't “Birds and Bees” too heteronormative?_ “Or the Bees and Bees… or… Birds and Birds?” She sighed. “I’m getting off track here…”

At that moment, Mariana walked in, slightly disturbed at the conversation taking place, although visibly amused by her mom’s lack of composure. “Mom I don’t think you need to…”

  “No, honey, we have to… to make sure Connor is…” Lena had never felt this much pressure in her life. _Since when was it this difficult?_

“But, Mom, the thing is…”

“I kinda already know this stuff, Mrs Adams-Foster,” Connor said. He knew that he had been told, a thousand times, to call her Lena, but somehow it didn't feel appropriate at that moment.

“Wait, you do? Did your Dad tell you?” Stef asked, relieved of both guilt and awkwardness at what could have been an especially cringeworthy episode in their living room.

“Oh God no,” Connor laughed. “He’s a lot better, but he would never talk about that. And I wouldn’t dream of it either…”

“Then, who?” Lena was baffled. They certainly didn't learn it in school.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you, Moms,” Mariana quickly interjected. “Connor came to me, and said Jude had told him everything that you’d taught Jude.” Lena and Stef blushed with slight embarrassment, forgetting that it was they, not Mariana, who were the parents here.

“But he still had questions about everything,” Mariana continued. “So I thought I’d talk about it with him. All that relationships and sex stuff.”

“And she was really helpful,” Connor said, wrapping his arm around Mariana’s shoulder.

“Well, that’s a relief,” Lena said. “It seems you’re good to go Connor.”

Stef snorted, taking that comment the wrong way, while Connor too found it difficult to stop himself from chuckling. Lena, on the other hand, was blushing intensely. “I meant about summer… do you want to go upstairs now? Jude is probably waiting for you.”

“Okay,” Connor said, as he walked away, before turning around and adding “If this was about this morning, Jude and I just cuddled. We haven't done anything.” He then ran upstairs. _They really weren't that quiet_ , he thought to himself.

“Mariana, why did you talk to Connor about that?” Stef couldn’t help but question.

“Why? You aren't mad are you?”

“Not at all. It’s just… a bit awkward, isn't it?”

“I understand it all, Moms, I’m not stupid,” Mariana said confidently. “Besides, I wanted to connect with my future brother-in-law.”

With that, Mariana too raced out of the living room, leaving Stef and Lena in peace. The peace they had desired early that morning, before _events_ had distracted them. Stef’s head fell into Lena’s lap, and for a few seconds they enjoyed the sweet sound of silence.

Then, after taking in everything that had just happened, they both began to laugh.

* * *

“Hey Jude,” Connor whispered, his head in Jude’s lap. “I have a surprise for you.”

“What kind of surprise?” Jude was intrigued.

Connor paused, and smiled. “Do you like my car?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess its been a while (v sorry) but forgive me? please? I hope this makes up for it x

_This was as good as life could get_ , Connor thought, his head in Jude’s lap, eyes staring longingly at his boyfriend. Jude’s eyes were half closed while his mouth was slightly open in a dopey grin. Connor had seen that face a thousand times before, the lazy afternoon face that showed Jude needed nothing more than the company of Connor to keep him happy. Jude never wanted to move in those moments. Usually, neither did Connor. Except this time, remembering their summer plans, Connor was reminded that they had to move. Life didn't always stay like this. But life could certainly get better.

“Hey Jude,” he whispered. “I have a surprise for you.”

Jude was intrigued, to say the least. He never could handle surprises. He was utterly impatient, incapable of living with the intensity of waiting. “What kind of surprise?” he asked, praying that he wouldn't have to wait too long to find out.

Connor paused, and smiled. There wasn't the slightest innocence in his smile; it was cheeky, almost devious, and Jude would be lying if he said he wasn't a little afraid.

“Do you like my car?” is what Jude heard faintly. The question struggled against the thousands of thoughts in Jude’s mind, all of which were what Jude thought Connor would say. None matched Connor’s actual question.

“Um, yeah, of course Connor,” Jude was struggling for words, lacking any ideas where this was going. “Why?”

“Come with me,” Connor said quickly, his face resembling an excited puppy. Jude grinned. Puppy Connor was definitely among his favourites. Puppy Connor was adorable. Puppy Connor was… fast. He'd raced downstairs, and Jude was struggling to keep up. In his struggle to catch up with Connor, Jude tripped, missed a step, and almost tumbled down the stairs. Thankfully, Connor couldn't stray too far from Jude, and had waited at the bottom of the stairs for his boyfriend. He raced back up the stairs to steady Jude. Breathing heavily, Jude was clearly startled, and he held tightly onto Connor for support, as if he physically couldn't let go. This didn't bother Connor in the slightest; He simply picked Jude up, and carried him to the car.

“You should probably be more careful next time,” Connor said, struggling to get Jude into the car, but still beaming with happiness from the warmth of Jude’s tight embrace. “Hope that seat is comfortable.”

“Yeah, it is, thanks. Thanks, Connor, you saved me. Guess i’m really lucky you were there.” Jude was still breathing heavily. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, trying to calm himself. Connor couldn't stop staring; Jude really was beautiful. _No Jude. I am definitely the lucky one_.

“Wait, what?” Jude asked, startled, his eyes wide with confusion. “What are we doing Connor?”

Those words were like a trigger. Connor panicked. He couldn't help but think of himself, and Jude, 3 years ago.

* * *

_“Today was fun,” Jude said, his characteristic beaming smile illuminating the dark tent. “I love camping so much. This is a great school trip.”_

_“We should totally do this again!” Connor replied, his eyes filled with joy as he looked into Jude’s. “Hey, maybe you could come along sometime with me and my Da…”_

_Connor froze, utterly silent, as Jude inhaled loudly. Exhaling, it was as if all the joy and happiness was leaving his body. Both boys were forced to confront the elephant in the room. An elephant they thought they'd left behind. Sadly, Connor’s dad seemed everywhere. Reality was inescapable. “_

_I’m sorry” Connor whispered, his voice weak with the pain he felt for his best friend, and the sadness he felt for letting him down. **I should’ve stood up to him**._

_“Forget it Connor,” Jude eventually said. Judging by his tone, he too was failing to forget it._

_“We should, y’know, forget it. Lets just enjoy ourselves. Please?”_

_Jude’s eyes returned to Connor’s. He noticed Connor’s eyes were wide, like an innocent puppy. His lips were pouting, parted slightly, and they were wet. Jude felt guilty for noticing that. Jude shouldn't notice things like that. Not on his best friend._

_Jude knew he had feelings for Connor. He also knew he couldn't have feelings for Connor. Conor was his best friend, his only friend, and Jude didn't want to lose him. Jude couldn't be gay, not for Connor, not with Connor. That would destroy their friendship. Connor’s dad wouldn't accept it, and at this point, Jude wasn't entirely sure whether Connor would either._

_“Im just gonna go to sleep,” Jude said abruptly, turning away from Connor quickly before a single tear rolled down his cheek. Jude felt so alone, believing his friendship with Connor was doomed. His tear, however, was not so alone, soon joined by a flow of others._

_Jude hoped that Connor wouldn't notice his tears. He was banking on Connor being unobservant, or perhaps hoped that Connor wouldn't know Jude that well. But Connor did notice. When it came to Jude, he always noticed._

_“Jude, please,” Connor said, while also beginning to sob. “Don’t shut me out, okay? I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have mentioned my dad. I don't want to think about him right now.” Connor stopped himself, before letting the next few words slip out of his mouth. He wasn't entirely sure how Jude would take them, and to be honest, he wasn't sure what they meant. But he knew he had to be honest with Jude, and he could be. With Jude, he felt safe._

_“Jude, I don’t want to think about anyone right now. I just want to think about you. I just… I just want to be with you. Please don't shut me out.”_

_Jude turned slowly, forgetting that his cheeks were sticky and salty with tears and his eyes were puffy and red, forgetting that to anyone else he would look a mess. Connor didn't care though. He was just happy to see him._

_“I’m sorry Connor. I don't know what to say. It just makes me sad that we can’t be friends…”_

_“Why not?”_

_“Because! Because… your dad…”_

_“Jude I will never stop being your friend. I will do anything, anything necessary, anything on earth, to be with you.”_

_“You Promise?” Jude struggled to say over his frequent sniffling._

_“Of course. I promise.”_

_Connor wiped the tears from Jude’s left cheek before wrapping his arms around Jude. After a few seconds, Connor worried that he was squeezing Jude too tightly, and so loosened his embrace, but Jude wasn't yet ready for Connor to let go. He rested his head on Connor’s upper arm and manoeuvred himself closer into Connor’s chest. Connor could only smile, immensely happy that Jude had allowed him to continue. He didn't want to let go. He never wanted to let go again._

_Jude looked up to Connor and met his eyes. His wide, shining, hazel eyes. Connor’s eyes grew as he moved closer, and his pouting, parted, wet lips came back into Jude’s focus. Jude’s heart raced. Was it panic? Not quite, but he knew he shouldn't want this as much as he did. He knew it was wrong. And he knew there was no going back._

_Connor equally understood the implications. Nothing would ever be the same between them. **What are you doing Connor? He’s your best friend. He’s… a he. A boy. You cant do this.** And yet, while thinking this, he didn't stop moving. He just kept inching closer to Jude, as if he were being pulled in, as if he weren't in control at all._

_Jude and Connor’s lips touched after a lifetime’s anticipation, as if their entire lives had built up to this. Connor couldn't help but remember the Spin-the-Bottle incident, and the weird feeling that had overcome him when he was interrupted before kissing Jude. Kissing Jude now, he knew that it was regret. He regretted not kissing Jude before, because somehow he knew it would be the greatest feeling on earth._

_Jude’s lips were soft, and tender, and tasted salty from his tears. Connor could only kiss him more, and harder, pushing his lips further into Jude’s. He had to make up for the last time, for their almost kiss. He worried that Jude wasn't enjoying it, that Jude hated this, before feeling Jude’s hands rubbing his arms, stroking his chest as Connor pulled him further towards him. Connor hoped Jude loved this. He loved it._

_They could not have been kissing for longer than a minute, though Connor’s mind had slowed it down to capture every second completely, to remember every infinitesimal detail. They broke the kiss, and stared into each others eyes, consumed by confusion._

_“What are we doing Connor?”_

* * *

Before, he'd had no idea. Before, he was terrified. But “Before” had led to this, sitting beside his boyfriend, awaiting adventure. It had also led to a thousand other perfect moments with Jude. Sometimes its good to have no idea what you’re doing. Other times , like now, he was thankful that he had a plan.

“What… Oh, right! The surprise! Check the glovebox.” This was it. This is where it begins.

“A map?” Jude was confused. Was that it? It looked pretty old too. And someone had drawn on it. An old map was far from a great surprise.

“You’re an idiot," Connor giggled. "The map isn't for you, sorry. Check the map.”

Jude was an idiot. This wasn't some shit surprise. He checked the drawings again and instead found a trail. A route. And circles along the route with little drawings. A surfboard. A hot dog. A ferris wheel. A mouse. And right in the middle… a heart.

“You planned a road trip.”

“I planned a road trip. Well, with a little help from my dad. And your moms. And Mariana. She insisted.”

“Your Dad?! Who knew he was so romantic.”

“He loves me. He loves us. He loves you. He wanted to help me show you how much I love you. And he knew that we could use some alone time.”

“Alone time?!” Jude laughed. “Who knew your dad was such a great wingman?”

Connor laughed too, though slightly more sheepishly. “I don't know what you’re implying, Jude Adams-Foster.”

“Whatever, don't be a _granny_ , Connor Stevens.” Jude joked, before narrowing his eyes and smirking suggestively. “All I'm saying is, whatever alone time you have planned, I’m very much looking forward to it.”

Connor swallowed hard, while Jude chuckled at his boyfriend’s unease.

“Umm, we’d better get going then,” Connor said, wide eyed and breathing heavily.

“Definitely,” Jude said, smiling innocently at his boyfriend, before screaming “Bye Moms! Bye Mari, Brandon, Callie, Jesus! See you soon!”

They had no chance to reply, as Connor had reversed off the driveway and accelerated down the road before any of them could get to the porch.

“What’s with the rush?” Stef chuckled.

“They grow up so quickly. Too quickly.” Lena replied.

“Meh,” Jesus said behind them. “They probably want some _alone_ time.”

Jesus and Mariana tittered. Stef definitely didn’t.

“Should we text them? I think we should text them.”

“Honey, leave it,” Lena replied soothingly. “They’ve got this. They'll be fine.”

* * *

Connor slowed down as he approached his own home. Jude was bemused.

“Your house? Not exactly an epic road trip Con.”

“I forgot something, hang on a sec,” Connor said as he left the car and sprinted to his own front door.

When Adam answered, he was met with a warm embrace from his son. Even from the car, Jude could see Adam tearing up.

“Thanks for everything dad,” Connor said softly, still hugging his father.

“Thank you for forgiving me Connor. For everything. I’ve never been a great dad, but you've always been the perfect son.”

“You were a great dad,” Connor said as let go. “Now you’re the perfect dad.”

Adam smiled before noticing someone walking towards him.

“Jude?”

“Thanks for everything Mr. Stevens,” Jude said, gesturing a handshake.

Adam declined, instead pulling Jude in for a hug. “Thank you for always being there for my son. Even when I wasn’t. Im really happy that you’re a part of his life.”

Jude grinned as Connor walked round to him and reached for his hand.

“Now go!” Adam said cheerily. “Go have lots of fun.”

Both Connor and Jude ran to the car and jumped in. Just before they could drive off, Adam tapped on Connor’s window.

“Not too much fun, yeah Connor?”

Connor laughed. “At least you won’t get grandkids.”

That Adam saw the funny side of that comment showed how much had changed in three years. But as Connor drove off, with only Jude for company, he was reminded that what truly mattered never changed at all.


End file.
